“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

~ Carl Jung

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Transitions

Today is a beginning.  The start of something new - my first blog.  I am starting this blog during a period of transition in my life.  Among other things, I am a social worker and have worked in the same agency for the last 15 years, but circumstances change no matter how tightly we try to hold on, not matter how tightly our fists close around what we have in an attempt to keep things the same.  So, earlier this year, in spite of commitment to a program I had helped to build, concern for clients and the staff members I supervised, and the loss of my job and livelihood; I resigned.  It was an incredibly  difficult decision, but it had to be. 

I am not sure at the time I was aware of how profoundly the losses I experienced would impact me.  I lost a part of my identity and treasured relationships with long-time clients and colleagues.  With the loss of my income, I lost my sense of security.  Most importantly, I lost my community.  This was more than a job for me.  On the day of my resignation, I made a choice to open myself up to change and let me emphasize I am not a person who enjoys change, adventure or adrenaline.  But I chose change and so this transition started.

In the months since making this change, my emotional response has vacillated between two poles.  I am terrified about the uncertainty of what's next and wildly excited anticipating new possibilities.  Unfortunately I am most familiar and thus most comfortable with the terrified, what have I done, end of things.  I am working to change that.  I am working to live my life with both hands wide open to receive whatever life has for me.  I am working to live my life with both hands wide open to share what life gives me with others.  So, this blog is born.    So today with the beginning of something new, I am challenging myself and perhaps you, to continue to grow, to use whatever experience life has given to you.  Let's be willing to open our hands, let go of the past, swing out over the cavern of the the unknown, and reach for what ever it is that life has for us as we continue our journey. Let's live with both hands wide open!

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