“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

~ Carl Jung

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

GRATITUDE



This week I have been thinking about one of my long-term patterns that causes me a good bit of pain and suffering.  I am an introvert by personality.  I love to be with people, but I also need a good bit of alone time to recharge.  Normally I can keep myself in pretty good balance with this dynamic; however, when I am down, I withdraw which of course aggravates my sadness and depression.    Add to this the fact that I love to be helpful to other people, but I do not like to ask for help.  I think I graciously receive unsolicited support, but asking, well that is another matter.  I don’t know if it is the acknowledgement of my neediness that I hate or the fear that I will ask and the help I seek will not be given.  Maybe it is a little of both.  



This past week my discomfort with my current situation got pretty intense.  Intense enough in fact for me to face this pattern head on.  I contacted a number of former colleagues and friends and asked them for help.  And amazingly enough many of them helped.  It was pretty wonderful.   I received the help I needed and some very encouraging supportive feedback as well.  Early last week I felt like my light had been extinguished, but it was certainly rekindled by the support and encouragement I received.



Interestingly enough, this really has been the case most of the times I have gotten to the point of asking for help in the past.    I wonder how many times it is going to take, how many positive experiences I’ll have to have, before I rewrite this belief in my head and heart.  I would like for today to be the first day of a new belief system.  Starting today I would like to believe in the people around me and to believe in myself.  I would like to live my life trusting in my own process, knowing that all is as it should be.       





At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark
from another person.  Each of us has cause to think
with deep gratitude of those who have lighted
                                                                                the flame within us.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Spring


Spring is officially here.  Spring, the time of renewal and rebirth.  Look around.  New life is everywhere, flowers are exploding, and every tree branch is tipped with soft delicate green leaves.  There is a constant hallelujah chorus of bird song.  On the bank of the lake in our neighborhood, a mother goose is sitting on her nest, waiting for her goslings to emerge from their eggs.












The world around me is coming to life.  The days are growing longer and their light and warmth call out to me.  





Spring is a time of change, a time filled with hope.  The abundance of Spring challenges  me to believe and move forward.
  




Sunday, March 18, 2012

Wearing of the Green







 Spring is in the air; and, the woods in North Georgia was definitely celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day with the wearing of the green this weekend.  Saturday was a wonderful day for a walk in the woods..

The oak leaf hydrangea leaves are just beginning to unfurl, revealing their beautiful soft green.
                      This little garden angel is cozy in her mossy coat.


                                 

                   Woodland sculpture created by the passing of time.







Soft carpet of moss at the base of a tree.





                                      Ferns pushing up delicate new fronds




The woods was wearing a few other colors as well.



I love this delicate little Rue Anemone.






  But, for me nothing shouts Spring like the pink of the Redbud  and the yellow of Forsythia


 Spring, a time of rebirth, a time for new beginnings after the stillness of the winter rest.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Dance in the Rain


Over the last week, I have been thinking a lot about my word for 2012 – THRIVE.  As the week has progressed, I have become increasingly sad and frustrated; well, really I have descended into the bottomless pit of self pity and despair.    After all, the universe promised me that I would thrive in 2012 and we are almost a quarter into the year.  When is “thrive” going to happen?  I AM WAITING AND I AM READY.


As I thought about this, I had to admit to myself that my life right now is pretty wonderful.  I don’t have a job.  I don’t have any income.  I have to be careful about my spending; but, I do have some pretty amazing things happening in my life.

For the first time in 15 years, I have time to write; and, I love to write.  Journaling connects me with the best part of myself.  I have time to play with art, and have found that combining paint, paper and glue into meaningful designs gives me tremendous joy.  I have time to be both emotionally and physically available to my family members, the people who mean the most to me. 

Before I left my job last July, I thought I was pretty squared away.  Since then, I have had to come to terms with the reality that I still have some growing to do.  I hate change.  I like to know where I am going, to be in control.  I have authority issues; and, I don’t like confrontation.  I don’t like to need others; and, I HATE TO ASK FOR HELP.  I am having the opportunity to work on these issues.  J




I have always said that I want to continue to grow until the day I die, to continue the process of becoming the best person I can be.   I still don’t know where this journey is headed; but, I don’t want to just wait out this storm in my life with my eyes shut, fist clenched, holding my breath.  I want to be open to experience everything that I have before me.  I want to be fully alive, fully present right now in this moment.  I do not want to wait for this storm to pass before I begin to live with my hands wide open and to DANCE in the RAIN.





Saturday, March 3, 2012

SACRED SPACE


“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.”
       ~Joseph Campbell


I am fortunate enough to have two homes, one in the city of Atlanta and a home in the north Georgia Mountains that will be our permanent residence some day in the future.  For now, we live in the city during the work week and go to the mountains on Friday evening.  I have always thought of my home in the mountains as my sacred space.  It has beautiful woods filled with birds, all kinds of woodland creatures, moss covered rocks, a babbling brook, and flowers.  It has silence.  When I am there I feel calm, peaceful and centered.  When I am there it is easy for me to open my heart to myself and to others.






As I was wrapping up this week on Friday, I looked around this home in the city and realized that it too is a sacred space for me.  Not exactly in the same way, but here in this home are the accumulated treasures of an almost forty year marriage, forty years of shared experience.    As I looked around I realized that I have surrounded myself with little things that remind me of how loved I am, how grateful I am for my family and this beautiful world in which we live.  I have surrounded myself with little things that have created a sacred space.  Here are some of those things.





Flowers from both my 
            Children's Weddings gathered into a dried Bouquet






 A Glass Vase filled with 
Dried Roses from Years of Anniversary, Birthday and Holiday Roses





A Bird’s Nest created from Twigs, Dried Hydrangeas from My Garden, Old Lace from a Family Tablecloth, Craft Store Birds and Eggs – It is, for me, an icon representing Home and Family ~ An Icon of my Sacred Space    


             
~What makes your space sacred?~