“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

~ Carl Jung

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Roller Coaster Ride

I am an anomaly in a family of adrenaline junkies.  My son and daughter climb up sheer rock cliffs for fun.  My son and my husband love motorcycles.  My husband who is not a big man used to climb up on the backs of bulls as a hobby.  All of them plus my daughter-in-law love to shoot guns.  I don’t get any of it.

I have an amazingly sensitive startle reflex.  I hate heights, sudden movements, and loud noises.  I am the person at the amusement park sitting on the bench looking slightly green, feeling dizzy and nauseated just watching the people I love hurl through space.  I wish I could say I am the Zen member of the family, but I think it is just that my fight or flight response is off the charts.

That said, the last two weeks have felt like a rollercoaster ride to me.  Several positive possibilities have arisen, not come through, followed by more possibilities.  Nothing has actually worked out yet, but maybe.  I have felt excited, appreciated, competent, frustrated, disappointed, and excited again.  Whew!

The most interesting part of all to me has been my response.  I have had the full range of sometimes intense emotions; however, I have taken it all in stride and not let the emotions of any one moment get set into a more lasting mood problem.  I have somehow stayed grounded in my center and just let it be.  I am actually letting my life unfold and maintaining a sort of curious detachment.  The word that best describes it for me is transcendence.  It feels good.  I like it; and, I hope I can hold on to it.  


It's All Connected said...

We must be at the same amusement park! I've decided that staying calm and seeing how things turn out gets me just as far as being frantic and is way easier on the body. I'll work on transcendence!

Becky Shander said...

Well then, wishing you more calm and clear eyes as you move through your days going forward...one day at a time. Keep being patient and open, and don't forget to take deep breaths. I think awareness leads to peacefulness...wishing you much peace.

Dottie said...

Thanks Becky,
I am feeling more peace. When I remember to stay in the present moment, I am amazed and grateful for the beauty and love all around me. The rest of it will work itself out in its on time and in its on way. Thanks for your comment. It pulled me back to this moment right now.

Alex said...

oooo- love the bottom page and saying. NICE!!!

Dottie said...

Thanks Alex! I love the quote too. Thanks for stopping by!