“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

~ Carl Jung

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Creative Discovery

Today I finished the last pages in the art journal I started in January of this year.  What an amazing process this has been.  I am also approaching the one year anniversary of quitting my job.  It is no coincidence that my venture into the creative followed the loss of a long term job that was incredibly important to me.  It hurt.  The job searches, the resume preparation, agonizing over cover letters, the silences, the repeated rejections also hurt.  On the other hand, I suddenly had time.  Time to write.  Time to  paint, glue, play.  And so I did.  I painted.  I glued wonderful bits of paper, metal, and feathers.  I found words that spoke to my heart to add to the images that were coming from deep within my broken heart.  And slowly I healed.

I went to a seminar the other night about working with older folks with dementia.  The speaker suggested that when we see an elderly person with severe dementia, we can grieve what was and is no longer; or, we can accept what is and be in the present moment with the person.  From a place of acceptance, we can rejoice in the smile, the little moments of connection.   For me, I must do both.  I find the notion of not grieving what was an impossible suggestion.  Simply won't work for me; however, I can accept what is, rejoice in the blessings of the moment, while holding the sorrow of the losses.

This art journal is a record of my process of connecting with and processing my grief over changes in my life.  It is a visual record of my healing process.  It is filled with words and images that have risen from my heart to help heal my spirit.

I love this quote by Alan Alda.  It describes my process through this last year.  I have certainly left my place of comfort and wandered in the wilderness.  And I have found a wonderful new way to connect with myself, to discover my truth, to give my  heart a voice.  It has been a journey of discovery.  It is a journey I plan to continue.  I will paint, cut paper, pick up little treasures from the universe like feathers and pieces of discarded metal, find words that speak to my heart and glue them all together.  Why?  Because through this process of creating art journal pages and writing about my thoughts and feelings, I am not just creating art, more importantly, I  am also creating a better me.

The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.
You have to leave the city of your comfort
 and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
~Alan Alda